Guilt Paints a Picture

I closed my eyes and dreamt of a painting I'll never paint, 

I sit in envy of those fingers that can. 

The soiled canvas falls in love with them, 

So I sit and dream of paintings I will never paint. 

Guilt is my roommate, and he loves sharing the bed; 

Can’t really shake him out, 

He’s persistent like that. 

The ceiling fan’s tired,           

She hates to see me lie around this way. 

"Get up, you got people to please," she rambles. 

Dragging myself out while he tugs the corners of my sheets. 

No amount of "leave me alones" can get me out of this - I know it.

It stings to fail when existence only makes sense when you're successful at it,

Every dusk as the sky walks  back home. 

Carefully lock in each color, and I  mix it with the brushes of broken dreams. 

My mind’s a palette, 

Oh boy, you’d hate the colors you see. 

But come night, I just paint it quietly in silence. 

While he watches,

Maybe he’s not so bad, or is he?

“Attagirl,” oh, what I could do. 

Cursed word, really, 

Music to my ears; 

Will be crossing oceans that don’t exist for it, 

Running around the fields that burned long ago. 

Can I ever let it go? 

The door locks itself, as he creeps closer to me

 Appease, appease, and appease. 

“You got it!” “No problem at all,” I smile. 

Lies, lies, and lies, 

Stop it and get a grip, 

You’ve got people to please. 

I think I can finally crack this now, 

So I close my eyes- to dream of the paintings 

Of paintings, I’ll never paint, 

While he watches, 

Guilt - my roommate, and he loves sharing the bed. 

Can’t really shake him out, 

He’s persistent like that. 

The ceiling fan’s tired, 

She hates to see me lie around this way. 

"Get up, you have people to please," she says. 

They called - said the hypocrite awards are waiting for me. 

Stop it and get a grip, 

You’ve got people to please.

*Images sourced from Pinterest <3